Conker's Other Bad Fur Day
by Dream the Fox
Summary: Set after Conker's Bad Fur Day. Conker's still upset about Berri's death and wants her back. When Gregg tells him how to do it, Conker, along with some friends, head off on a new adventure to bring Berri back. My first Conker story. R&R and NO FLAMES.
1. Meeting Berri and Gregg

**Hiya bros. This is my first ever Conker story, so PLEASE be nice. Rareware was going to be making a Conker game, as much of you bros know called Conker's Other Bad Fur Day. But, they never did. I wish they would have. Well, since they didn't, I'M GOING TO. This story has some OCs in it, but yeah.. So, sit back and enjoy bros.**

**XXX**

**Chapter 1**

"Conker! It's time to wake up!" Rodent, the gray squirrel that Conker met when he was at war, called, knocking on the door.

The orange (he looks fucking orange to me... XD. Even if everyone things he's red. XD.) squirrel sighed and woke to another day of being king. He never asked to be king of the land. He never asked to go on the adventure that had led him to where he was today.

If he hadn't got drunk that night, then Berri would still be alive. He would be at home with her right now, instead of her being dead and him being the king.

He should had brought her back when he had the chance, when the game locked up and the person playing it let him do things that wasn't normally part of a game.

But, there was nothing he could do about it now, Sighing, Conker put the crown on his head, and tried to fix it, but it never did stay right on his head. The young squirrel walked over to the doors that were closed and opened them. ready to start another day of being king..

"Your majesty!" a small weasel scientist IN TRAINING bowed.

"We have brought you the royal chocolate pancakes!"

Conker nodded, holding back a sigh. It was his 2nd day of being king.. He still wasn't use to this kind of thing. He didn't think he'd ever get use to his new life.

"Yeah... Thanks."

After eating the pancakes, the squirrel headed out of the castle, fixing his crown once again. Rodent stopped him.

"Where you goin' Conker?" he asked in his little weak, squeaky voice.

"Out," he told his general. "Watch the place for me, okay?"

"Sure.."

XXX

Rain fell from the sky, making Conker more un-happy than he already was. He walked to the sign were his adventure had begun. He fell on his knees in front of the sign and began letting it all out as the rain began getting his face wet, because of it, he couldn't tell if ge was crying or not. He turned, so he had his back against the sign.

"Why Berri?" Conker asked, putting his gloved hands over his eyes and some of his face. "Why didn't I bring you back when I had the chance? Why did you have to die?"

Conker removed his hand from his face and looked at a small puddle beside him.

"Look at yourself Conker, you've become a shadow of your former self."

It was true. He began having flashbacks of what his life was like before this adventure, He remembered being close to his family, his friends, and even his dearest Berri, but one day, he changed, he became more greedy than caring, he disrespected his parents, He treated his old friends like utter shit, and he started treating Berri wrong, but she didn't care, she knew that deep down he really cared for her. And it wasn't untill now that he realized it.

"You got nothing and no one to blame but yourself Conker," he said to the reflection.

He didn't realize it but a drop of rain fell onto the reflection, and it changed. Conker saw himself, all happy and care free, with the smile of Child mischief. It was his life before he became king, but now that life was dead. And his crown represented that. He placed it back on his head and started to head back to the castle. But, he stopped, and looked back up at the sky, frowning.

"Berri.. If you can hear me, I'm sorry for everything that's happened..."

"Conker, honey!"

Conker's ears perked up at the sound. He glanced around seeing no one but himself. So, who just called out to him?

"Great, now my mind's trying to trick me with things," he sighed, turning once more and began to walk slowly, head and tail down, and ears flatten, back to the castle.

"How rude Cnky-poo!" Berri came out of mist and shook her head.

"Not only did you NOT come on our date, but now yu reject me even though I'm right in front of you."

Conker looked up once more and saw Berri. He blinked a few times, mouth opened slightly in shock.

"Berri? But.. How.. I saw you... Get shot.." The words were chocked out. They were painful for him to say.

The aparation giggled.

"Oh Conkypoo...You remember the cutie pie reaper right? well he sent me here on a little arrend. Conky poo...he needs you to revive me...because..."

The reaper cut in and pointed his boney finger at Berri.

"Because she is annoying the hell outta me got it squirrel?! I want her out...gone KAPUT! I can't take any more of her shit!"

Conker scratched his head. "Right.. But, how do I do that? It's not like I can just magicly go to space and find the body... Even if I really want to.."

Gregg sighed. "No, but you can do these things, beat three bosses that hold her keepsakes, climb a poo mountain to get the gun that killed her, eat your way through a chokolate hill to avenge her death, cross the ginger river, and reach the sacred place where she is barried so you can pour pee from a pheonix on all her things and body thus brinig her back and GETTING HER OIUT OF MY HAIR!"

"It's gonna be one of those days.. I just know it," Conker sighed. "Well.. It seems like a good deal to me... Anything to get Berri back."

"Good. oh and Conker...this is a three player game. I hope you have adequit help..."

"Three player game, huh?"

"Yes. and there is more. Each player has a backup in case they lose all their lives. So, say your friend has to pee and they fall into a pit. They respawn as their backup person. if they poo and they fall again, a teammate has to revive them by pressing Z repeatedly. You need a medic with you, so take the weasel."

"Alright.."

"Is that all? Well it can't be helped. Get your things. then begin the adventure! Please before my sanity is gone!"

Conker nodded and went off.


	2. Time To Leave

**Chapter 2**

"Your grace! Your highness!" Rocky, a racoon gaurd, waved at Conker and slammed the tiny scientist to be weasel to the ground.

"This weasel was spying on you from his father's old lab!"

"Let him up. He must have a reason for it."

"Forgive me Master sire sir." the weasel said "But when I heard you were going on a quest...well I HAD to come along!"

"Well, Greg said I needed to bring you along anyway.."

"My name is Rutty Sire, if I can be of any service please let me know." He bowed and tipped his hat.

Conker nodded. "Alrighty then.. Pack your things.. We're leaving soon."

"Yes Sire."

"Good. Now, where's Rodent?"

"Slider, a mongoose, shook his head .

"He is in his barracks sir."

Conker nodded and went off. "Rodent!"

The gray squirrel jumped and turned around. He was always a little jumpy about things. "Oh, hey Conker. Welcome back."

The other squirrel nodded. "You're comin' with me."

"Where we goin'?"

"On a quest."

"What kind of quest?"

Conker cleared his throat. "A quest to find someone I care a lot about..."

"Oh, I understand. When do we leave?"

"Soon. Get everything you wanna take and meet me and Rutt by the front doors."

Rodent nodded. "Okay. I'll be there Conker."

"Good." Conker turned and went to his own room to get things that he would need on this quest.

_Good luck Conkypoo._

"Big BROOOOVER!" Kinky whined, glomping his leg

"WHy can't I ever come on your quests?"

the teen grey squerrel that was the tiny yellow sister of Conker's sitter smiled kindly

"Kinky, your brother is a very important squirrel, and he needs yiu to styay here and watch his things so no one steals them. It's a very big job only you can handle."

"Well...okay Gorgett."

"Gorgett's right, Kinky. I need you to stay here and watch things.. You mind Gorgett and I'll be back soon, okay?"

Conker grabbed somethings he wanted to take: frying pan, gun, knife, and whatever else he thought he needed.

He hugged both squirrels before he headed for the front door.

Rutty had his kit with him, and gazed at the squerrel enviously.

"You sure are prepaired sire!"

Gregg whisatled Conker over to him, glaring

"I can only bring each of you back fifteen times. By the way, where is your third person?"

"Hey, you never know what you might need," Conker told Rutty, before Gregg called him over. "Only fifteen? I thought you could have as many lives as you think you could get away with? And he should be coming.."

Pretty soon, Rodent come.

"Hey squirrel, I don't make the game rules. I'm just the guide and the one that brings you back. Besides, it's a sequal. It's easier than your first adventure by law."

Conker crossed his arms. "Well, fine then."

"Ok. SO here's a list of the keepsakes. A parasol, her right shoe, and her locket you gave her some time ago. That's all i can give you now. the rest is up to you."

"Alright. Thanks Gregy."


	3. Evil Vampire Bat!

**Oh, bros, I have a few fourms and things out. I made a Conker's Treehouse fourm because there's hardly ANY for Conker. In that fourm, you can RP ANYTHING that has to do with Conker. OCs are allowed too. On my Tales Power account, I have a Sonic fourm. You guys and join and RP story stuff. It's called: Sonic Roleplay and it has a picture of Classic Sonic and Tails with a pink background. And on my Thunder Pikachu1 account, I made a Pokemon Roleplay fourm. It has a picture of a Pikachu and Eevee on it.**

**Anyway, with that said, let's begin the next chapter.**

**XXX**

**Chapter 3**

Conker, Rodent, and Rutty began their quest. The orange squirrel sighed, glancing around at things they pasted. He had a feeling this was going to be like his other adventure. Conker flicked his tail, as he thought of the first adventure. He didn't want what happened last time, to happen again.

All the deaths that happened, people getting hurt. Yeah, he made most of the people die, but that didn't mean he didn't feel bad about it on the inside, even if he didn't show it on the outside.

He frowned slightly.

Rodent noticed this and tapped his shoulder. "You okay Conker?"

"I'm fine. Why?"

"You seem... Kinda down."

The other squirrel shrugged. "...It's nothing that you need to worry about Rodent."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure."

There as a bee that was being tormented by a venus flytrap. The plant found it fun to CHOMP the bee, then let him go, only to CHOMP him again. Conker sighed and walked over, Rodent and Rutty followed closely behind.

"Hiya.. Why are ya pickin' on that bee?"

"This bee?" the plant taunted, CHOMPING the bee again

"This bee happens to beeeeeeeeee a lousy two faced jerk #$% me if he hasn't killed half my family with his #$% stinger! Say mac, I'll pay you ! #$ hansomly if you get rid of this mother.

Conker crossed his arms, thinking this over. Getting money sounded good to him, then again, it always did sound good to him. "Well, if we get money..."

"Good lad! Well? If you don't get rid of him, then I'll have fun with him."

"No no please I beg you mr squerrel! His family was eating my family I had no choice!" The bee protested, water pouring out of his eyes.

"Ah for fuck's sake.." the squirrel groaned. He grabbed the bee and took him away from the planet.

"Ah the injustice." the plant said "Take your dough joe. And some free advice. Things have changed from your last adventure. The cats have got a new prince. and his son is around heer causing trouble. If you want beer, Tippy is your guy."

Conker nodded and went off to where the chat-fish were at on his first adventure. He wanted to see just what was going on.

"Daaaaaaarling!" a catfish mewed, smiling.

"Hiya."

"You like drinking?"

"Yeah."

Go to Tippy's he'll fix you up suger!" they said, pointing to a bar in a stump near by.

Conker nodded and went to the bar. Rodent and Rutty followed not too far behind.

A young Tiger was there, but he didn't look very happy. His ears and tail droped, and in a cage was a sack with eyes,

Money eyes...

"What'll it be, strangers?"

"Eh, beer for me I guess," Conker said.

Rodent shook his head, not in the mood for one, and Rutty was too young to drink still.

He was given a beer and a chocolate gar.

"Life. it sucks."

Conker ate the chocloate bar, and drank some of the beer. _I can relate to that feeling._

"What's making ya think that?"

Tippy sighed and gestured at the money sac.

"That. Do you see all that? Not a papercut of it is mine. I'd steal it and get outta here, but between you and me...I'd rather not be fed to the GREAT mighty POO..."

"...It's back? Shit.." Conker eyed the money again. "I'd steal it."

"You would? good. you can have it. Man you must be feeling lucky. to go wherever you want...without a care in the world..."

"Lucky.. If you saw and been through the things have.. You'd say this is lucky."

He went over to the chat and the B thingy was there followed by the light-bulb.

Conker got what he needed to open the cage and grabbed the money putting it in his pocket.

"This...is a prison." the tiger said, tail drooping.

"How so?"

the tiger pointed to his leg.

Rutty gasped.

"He is a prisoner! That's a shackle electrically sealed to protect it from tampering."

Conker frowned. "Who enprosioned you?"

"My uncle. he said i was too soft...He wanted to kill a turtle but i let it go. he even tried to kill my r=father but then an alien killed him."

"Alien..?" Conker remembered fighting an alien monster on his last adventure. But he couldn't be the same one, could it?

Rodent frowned. "Alien? But.. Those are just stories."

"No. it popped outta father's chest and then some rodent killed it."

Conker flicked his tail nevously. _Oh, that says a lot.._

"Now I want what you have...I want to be free..."

"Well.. Okay.."

Conker went over and stood on a B and got what he needed and set the tiger free.

I'm...free?" Tippy asked, then hugged conker "Thank you! please...i know we just met...but can I be in your party?"

Conker blinked and slowly returned the hug. "Er, sure."

Suddenly, the tiger snarled and said,

"Jinx the vampire bat! She is feeding on the townsfolk again!"

he went to the drawer, pressed B and handed Conker a shotgun.

"Alright. A shotgun!"

Rutty turned to Rodent and grinned.

"Now the fun starts."

Rodent flicked his large gray tail. "Well.. Let's start this fun then."

The bat was large.

"Well, that seems about right for a boss."

"Nothing I haven't seen or fought before."

Around the bats neck was a locket.

"Vell now, Vat a lovely snack!"

Conker eyed the locket and knew what that meant. But first, to take care of the bat. He aimed the gun, and fired. She screamed and dove for him in a three attack patern, typickal of most bosses. She then picked up Rodent, shook him until blood went everywhere, then threw him into Conker.

"Vat funny toys you make."

"You okay Rodent?"

"Yeah, I'm okay, sorta.."

Conker helped him up and shot the bat again. She again attacked three times, then attacked Conker, shook him in her mouth until blood went everywhere and two chocolates went away, then laughed, attacking three times.

"I analized her weakness Conker!" Rutty said.

"What is it?"

"She attacks from the sky!"

"Yeah, so?"

Rutty gave him a bow. "Clip her wings."

Conker smirked and aimed the bow thing and fired.

"Yeeeeeeooooooooooooooooooooo ooooow " blood splashed everywhere as the bat was brought down. She landed near Conker and exploded. Leaving only the locket behind.

Conker went over and picked up the locket. He smiled and put it in his bag.

"One down and a lot more to go.."


	4. The Great Mighty Poo Returns!

**Chapter 4**

"IT IS time for SOMEONE to visit the GREAT MIGHTY POO!"

Tippy was caught and dragged away, being beaten until blood flew everywhere.

Conker tapped his foot and walked over where Tippy and TGMS (as I call it XD.) was.

The squirrel shook his head. "Haven't changed a bit.. Hey! Ugly pile of shit! Put the tiger down now or you'll be sorry."

_"YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU you are the rodeeeeeeeeeeent who flushed meeeeeeeeeeee down the TOILEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET!" _

TGMP Filled Tippy full of ! #$%! until he couldn't scream, then plastered the poor tiger to the wall

_Nooooooooooooooooow I will ! #$% youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu until you are so fullof poo that it makes you KABOPM!"_

..Ew." Rodent said, grossed out.

"Just watch out and you'll be fine..."

Rutty handed the squerrel toilet paper, and handed Sanitizer to Rodent.

"I'm on Ammo duty guys! Filler up! Lets do this!"

_"I Am the great mighty poooooooooooooooooooo. I am throwing my shit at youuuuuuuuuuuuu! IIIIIIiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii will bury you in so muuch...that youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu will beg for mercy from my BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTTTTTT !"_

"Shut up!" Conker threw the toilet paper in his mouth. "That song was annoying the first time!"

TGMP coughed and began to sing again, this time from another place. Rutty threw more TP at Conker, giving him thumbs up.

Rodent went and used the sanitizer on him, while Conker waited for the right time to throw the toilet paper at him.

_"Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"_

Conker threw the toilet paper into TGMS's mouth. TGMP caughed again and moved again, this time he threw poo everywhere, nailing Conker and Rutty.

"I'm hit!"

Conker grunted as another piece of the bar was broken off. 'Just shake it off Rutty. It's not gonna kill you.. Yet."

_"Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!""_

The squirrel threw more toilet paper in this mouth.

Tippy had gotten free and was inching towards the handle for flushing. He almost got it, but TGMP hocked a pooey at him, smacking him to the ground.

_"NOoooooooooooooooow to face your doom! IIIIIIIIIIIIIII will bury you in POOOOOOOOOOO! Theeeeeeeeeeeeen the fun begins! Foolish rodent, I will do you INNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!"_

Conker face-palmed. "Didn't work last time, ain't gonna happen this time." He threw more toilet paper.

Rodent crept over to where the flusher handle, being careful not to be seem by TGMS.

_LAAAAAAAAAAAAA choke choke OH NOOOOOOOOOOO!_

"Looks like you have him on the run Conker! Here!" Tippy and Rutty threw TP at conker

"Thanks guys." Conker thre more into his mouth.

Rodent glanced back before he hopped up and grabbed the flusher and pulled as hard as he could to bring it down.

"Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooo oooooooooooo!"

TGMP got flushed down the toilet, leaving a familliar looking shoe behind.

Conker walked over and picked it up, putting it in the bag,

"One more down.."


	5. Helping Bees

**Chapter 5**

Tippy smiled and whistled.

"What dame wore that shoe? SHe musta been a real catch! Anyway...thanks. You really didn't need t do that."

"My girlfriend did." Conker put the shoe in a back-pack that he had brought with him to put the things they found. "Hey, it's what friends do."

"Yeah," Rodent added, coming back over to the group.

" Still feel that I must repay you..." the tiger said.

"Hey, don't worry about that.."

Rutty smiled.

"Well looks like you have two of the three keepsakes."

"Yep. We're getting closer to our goal."

Tippy waved him over to a tied up squirrel about the same size and age as Rodent, with one exceptinn.

The squirrel was dead and cut in half, oozing poo.

"Ew.."

"This is what happens to those who defy the great poo. But you saved me from this fate. I need to come and fulfill my debt, if you'll have me."

"Well, if you want to, you can come."

_Tippy has joined your party!_

"Alright.. Let's see.. Where to go next.."

"How about we ask the BEES?"

Conker walked over to the bees. "Hiya."

"Conkeeeeeeeeeer" they buzzed, "What does such a noble squirrel want with usssssssssss lowly beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeess?"

"Well, we're trying to figure where to go or who to help next. You guys need anything?"

"Yessssssssssss! When you flushed the great poo, you also flushed our hive. we need a new one. We have moneyyyyyyyyy if that isssssss your wiiiiiiiissssssssssshhhhhh."

"Ah, right.. Alright. Where do we find a new hive?"

"In the POO MOUNTAIN."

Conker face-palmed. "Of course.. Okay, be back with one.."

Rutty giggled.

"Wait a sec Conker. Didnt you learn anything from your first game? the wasps wont let you have that hive very easily. I say, step on the 2 pad over there and hold Z. You should turn into Rodent. See Rodent still has his suit on...the impenatrible one. The wasps wont hurt him."

"..Right.."

Conker went over and stood on it and the person playing held Z and poof Rodent was there. The player made Rodent go off, get the hive and come back.

The bees were so happy they pooped out money.

"Ew.." Rodent said. "We're really gonna take that money?"

"Money's been in shit before," Conker said.

"Just ew."

"Go get the money."

Conker walked over and picked up the money.


End file.
